the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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