i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
