worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
