I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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