Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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