She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
