I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
