Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
