we have officially lost it.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
