I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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