Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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