There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
