last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
