Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
