therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
