his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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