If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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