i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize