I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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