Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
