When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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