Don't you send me to vm
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
How's work?
Spinning.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
