ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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