Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
