living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
