Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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