you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
