Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
