Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
