i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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