shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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