Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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