Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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