And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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