we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
