There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
