ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
