your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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