I will die if light touches me.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
