Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
