Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
