Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
