Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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