there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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