Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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