so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
