Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
