Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize