i just had sex bonerless
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
