best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
