I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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