So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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