Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
