Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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