why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
