Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize