So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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