school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
