im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
