Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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