It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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