? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
