i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
