I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
