Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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