um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
