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• (917): View more from New York City

  I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.

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• (951): View more from California

  my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today

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• (631): View more from New York

  we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.

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• (619): View more from California

  Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.

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• (212): View more from New York

  I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (310): View more from California

  i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!

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• (714): View more from California

  So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.

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