# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome