I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs