sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
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No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off