i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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